


Past Connections

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequels
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Ben X therapy amiright, Borderline Personality Disorder, Cheating, Dark, Dark fic, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Drugs, F/M, Fluff, Foster Care, Infidelity, Internet Friends, I’m not sure how dark we’re going, M/M, Okay nvm it gets dark, Parties, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Poor Rey, Poverty, Rough Sex, Self Harm, Smut, This is really fucked up you have no idea, Trigger Warnings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Weddings, accurate BPD cause I have that, ben doesn’t understand his disorder, break ups, but he’s way better now, it gets the best of him and ruins his relationship, kylo Ren isn’t nice, not accurate depiction of D.I.D, the rape is not between rey and ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:55:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26256010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Rey is invited to her friends Wedding, she invites an online friend named Kylo who is actually already invited to that wedding. What could go wrong?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/ Rose Tico, Finnpoe, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Stormpilot - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	1. The Wedding Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is just a work I based off of a prompt from Twitter ! Enjoy ❤️

Rey had been dreading receiving the wedding invitation for Rose and Hux’s wedding for a while which is why when she saw it she almost didn’ rsvp. She knew it for a fact as he was She was pretty close with Rose but declined being apart of any kind of the wedding and only wanted to be a guest, mostly so she didn’t have to buy an expensive bridesmaid dress that she knew she couldn’t afford. She barely afforded living in her apartment in the Bronx. 

It had been 7 months since she had been given that damned invitation, she even was given the option to bring a plus one. She was considering maybe bringing a friend but who brings a friend to a wedding, she thought to herself. Instead she thought of making it look like she had food poisoning or maybe she would fake her death to just get out of the wedding, Yeah that last one was a bit extreme. She grunted and sat down on her mattress that was on the floor of her bedroom. Her bedroom wasn’t the nicest in the world, it had peeling wallpaper and the floor was older than Unkar Plutt her past foster father. Rey was just always barely managing to survive

Rey had borrowed a dress from her friend Kaydel who couldn’t attend the wedding due to her pregnancy due date. She felt like everyone around her was accomplishing so much. She was only 22 and her friends were older than her except for Finn, he was a year older than her. She figured at the wedding she could just take advantage of the open bar and try to take some extra food for home. She didn’t really have many groceries well in fact she hadn’t been able to go food shopping in a few weeks, she really needed to get on that. 

There was only one person in the world Rey would ever even think of bringing and the chances were slim that they could even come. His name was Kylo and he was an online friend or rather best friend, they had met through being in the same fandom which she was quite embarrassed about. Kylo was trusting and caring, she could just sense a good person in him. Maybe he would be kind enough to just be there with her. She would drive to him if needed, if he lived that far. She knew he lived in Manhattan and worked for some big wall-street company that he absolutely hated. Rey could understand hating work, she dealt with unpleasant customers all day long, she worked at a flower shop and the customers mostly frantic boyfriends who had just been caught cheating and needed a nice bouquet for their girlfriend.

She’s grabbing her phone as she curls up on her mattress.

‘Really weird question but you wouldn’t mind being a date to a wedding right? I know we’ve never met and you could be a serial killer but maybe serial kill me /after/ the wedding?’ She messages him through twitter and crosses her fingers he will say yes.

‘A wedding? I am particularly intrigued, sunray..? Where is it located? Who is it for? I have a wedding coming up perhaps it’s the same one.’

‘Highly doubt it, but then again rich people know every other rich person..it’s for my friend Armitage Hux and Rose Tico..’

‘Armitage and Rose? I guess fate wants us to meet. I’m well associated with Mr. Hux. Him and I are partners at work. 

Rey smiles, Armitage knew everyone and she did know that Kylo had worked in the same building as him. Rose had always mentioned where he worked and when Kylo told him where he worked she was shocked. It was such a small world. 

‘So then I’ll see you there..we just need to figure out how to find each other and spot each other..’ Rey texts back.

‘I’ll be wearing a tux and the cuff links are red with a first order company symbol on them. It is going to be a big wedding though..I know that much. Armitage kept talking about it. But that’s love I guess.’

‘Great..and I like the way you think, I was definitely going to take advantage of the free booze and food. Haven’t gone grocery shopping in weeks. Rose doesn’t stop talking about it. I once felt the way she did about someone they just didn’t feel the same way back apparently’ 

She didn’t tell Kylo how bad her living situation was because he was known to be generous and humble and she didn’t want him to hide his wealth like Rose had tried to whenever she was around, that was worse than just hiding how broke she was. 

‘Geez go to the grocery store! You’re always out of food. Take care of yourself, Sunray. Also I was also in love and I don’t really know what happened it’s a very complicated thing. I had fucked up.’

‘We all fuck up sometimes. I think my breakup story might be worse than yours! Anyways it’s a late night and that wedding is in two days. I’m gonna need my sleep!’

‘Goodnight, Sunray. Can’t wait to meet you.’

Rey smiled and blushed at her phone before putting it down. She yawned and shivered of course her heat was turned off on one of the coldest nights in December. She grunted in a frustrated manner and curled up in the corner of her bed, it was warmer there. She fell asleep and in the morning it was time for work, luckily she only had half a shift as the manager was closing shop early, he had a vacation to a nice warm island in the Bermuda. Bastard paid himself so much while she was nearly surviving off the scrapes he gave her. One day she hoped she would own the flower shop, hire two employees and pay them what they deserve, a nice wage with benefits and paid breaks and such. 

Rey was always struggling, when she was 5 she had been dropped off at some random strangers house by her addict parents. She always believed that one day they would come back and apologize for what they allowed to happen to her.   
It was a lot of abuse, emotional, physical and sexual in the foster system. Rey knew she had some mental problems, it didn’t help that her mother had done drugs when she was pregnant with Rey..she didn’t like to get into that. She closed herself off emotionally, she didn’t talk about her feelings, she stopped doing that after her heart had been broken by Ben Solo 2 years ago. She suppressed mostly everything from her childhood and late teens. She figured internalizing it was just better. The breakup landed her in a dark place, a really dark place and she was afraid if she opened up her heart it would shatter again. 

Maybe just maybe she might open her heart up for Kylo.


	2. High School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Ben Solo and Rey met and became high school lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR TW for this chapter// Sexual abuse, rape, abusive foster parent, mental health issues
> 
> Figured I should show you all how Ben and Rey met before they meet again

Rey was good at scavenging. As a newly turned 16 year old who had been in the foster care system since she was 5, she knew how to mend broken things. She knew how to survive off of the scraps of stuff kids left on the lunch table, she knew how to make a makeshift splint for whenever she got hurt. She was able to go dumpster diving at night. Currently she was in Chandrila. She currently was being fostered by some random guy who was into the fostering program just for the pay check. Most of them were. They lived in the dirtiest part of town, the projects is what they called them and most of Rey’s clothing was stolen. She was great at shoplifting, she hated having to do it but..she promised one day she would pay everyone back when she turned 18 and could be on her own. Rey’s parents had been drug addicts and left her at some strangers house, she blocked it out as much as she could. 

Rey would collect water bottles from schools or on the floor to recycle them for spare change in case her foster care taker fell off the wagon and she just needed to buy a pack of ramen to survive. She didn’t let anyone know...it wasn’t like she had people who cared about her anyways. 

Rey had decided once she was 18 she would probably end it. She knew there was no future for her and she’d be homeless the moment she turned 18. Chandrila High was not bad but it wasn’t great either.   
People were assholes and they would continue to be. As a junior she had obligations to be a good student to go to college. She knew already that she wouldn’t go to college. Junior year sucked already. That was until she met Ben Solo, he was a rather popular kid with his mother being state democratic senator and his father being one of the most influential business men in the country. Honestly Rey hadn’t even known who his parents were till much later after they made their relationship official. 

Rey was walking down the halls after school, collecting bottles to recycle them for some money. She really could use something to eat. She had been denied lunch at school due to her lunch bill not being paid. She hadn’t had a full meal since two days before and she wasn’t really happy when she was hungry. She had a decent amount of bottles kept in her bag now and she began to make her way to the grocery store to cash them in outside. It was obvious to everyone in school that Rey was not rich or even in a good living condition but nobody cared because why would they? In a few months or so she’d be shipped off to another foster home, hopefully the next one the foster parents wouldn’t be as abusive or scary as her current one. Unkar wasn’t a nice guy, he was by far the worst one. He took advantage of her and punished her often. She didn’t like to think about what would happen when she got home, if she could even call it a home. She was dreading it. Sometimes she’d go to a park if it was warm enough out and sit and wait till she knew Unkar was drunk or high enough to just leave her alone.

Ben Solo was a senior, going to college some really fancy college. He was top of his classes and team captain of the soccer team. He had noticed Rey a junior in some of his classes always sneaking bottles and putting them in her very worn out book bag. So he figured he would collect some and give them to her for whatever he was doing. His teammates made fun of him for it but what could he say? He was helping the girl out, she was pretty and knew that she was intelligent and he found himself thinking about her a lot. He wanted to know her story he just hoped she didn’t know his, he kept it hidden away for so long. He had followed her that day when he saw her leaving to go to the grocery store. He hoped she didn’t find it creepy that he had followed her there. 

“Hey! Rey right?” He asked

“That’s me..is there anything you need?” She asked as she slowed down her walking. 

“I uh- I noticed you’re always collecting bottles so this past week I collected some for you..for whatever it is you’re doing with them..” he smiled and handed her the bag. She looked so fragile, so malnourished he frowned at that. He didn’t really know a thing about financial struggle he had been set for life thanks to his parents. 

“Oh..wow thanks that’s nice of you. You uh didn’t need to do that-“ Her conversation stops when there’s a car honking at her in the shopping market parking lot.

“Hurry up, girl! I need your ass home right now!” It’s Unkar and Ben can tell that Rey is afraid and unnerved by seeing him here. 

“Thanks for the bottles..I’m sorry I have to go that’s my foster father.” She waves and leaves rushing into Unkar’s car and watching Ben slowly get smaller as Unkar drove away.

The next few months are quick and Ben and Rey grow closer and closer. Soon they’re eating lunch together, he always brings Rey a sandwich with her favorite chips with some water. Sometimes she bring him some ramen that they can make with the hot water dispenser in the locker room so that he can eat before practice. They sit on the bleachers and eat while they talk about nonsense, the talking turns into kissing and cuddling on the bleachers or him holding her waist as they walk down the hallways. She’s falling in love with him and she’s so afraid something will ruin it. She decides to live in the moment and make it official with him. He couldn’t have been happier when Rey suggested they make their dating a step further and use the labels boyfriend and girlfriend.

One week though, Rey doesn’t show up to school nor answers her phone and he’s become worried that maybe her foster father had done something awful to her. He had a bad feeling about him. He noticed that Rey was always concealing bruises and scratches and marks on her body. He never pressured her to say something but he realizes maybe he should have. 

“Are those bruises? Rey what’s going on at home?”

“Nothing I just tripped and fell.”

He remembers that conversation. He remembers her constantly dismissing everything but he saw the pain in her eyes. He had felt a sadness just like her. His life hadn’t been perfect. His parents were never around, his childhood was filled with tragic events that he didn’t talk about. 

Ben decides to hop in his Porsche and drives to the location of her house that’s luckily posted on the Snapchat map. Rey doesn’t use Snapchat often but he’s glad he urged her to download it so they could FaceTime on there since Rey’s phone didn’t have cellular data and it only worked on WiFi. It’s a shitty part of town, a really shitty part that Ben is afraid he’s gonna get fucking mugged usually drug addicts lived around these areas and preyed upon the poor and Ben hates that the wealthy do nothing about it, that his mother doesn’t help the people in poverty she has more than enough money to. 

He see’s that she’s living in a crack house, something that brings him to tears is how cold it’s getting and roof is falling apart. How does she live like this? Why didn’t she tell him? Was she embarrassed? She could tell him that she committed murder and he would still be in love with her. Nothing would make him think less of her. He’s knocked on the door, hoping that the man from that day at the grocery store doesn’t answer. Luckily he doesn’t and it’s Rey but she has a bruised eye and her lip is busted, Ben tears up when seeing her. Nobody this selfless should have to go through this. She’s wearing nothing but a white shirt, her hair is let down and she has tears in her eyes, she’s quiet and there’s blood dripping down from her shaking legs. Ben instantly realizes what had happened and he rushes in the house.   
“Where is he? I’ll fucking kill him I swear to God..”

“He’s not here he just left for work...y-you shouldn’t be here..” Rey is nervous and biting her nails, every time she takes a step it hurts. It’s not the first time Unkar has done this and she’d had fucked up people in the foster system do the same before when she was around 13. “Honestly I’m fine..”

Ben is frantically looking around in the small house, it’s awful, it reeks of alcohol and cigarettes and maybe meth. The wallpaper is ripping, the sink is disgustingly dirty, there are rats everywhere. He walks into what he assumes Reys room is and see’s there’s no bed, just pillows and blankets on the floor in a corner. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He tears up.

“I don’t want pity..you’re my boyfriend I-it shouldn’t be a burden on you..it’s fine it’s better than living out on the streets..”

“Like hell it is! He’s raped you! Fucking abused you!” He yells and Rey flinches and Ben calms down. He starts grabbing clothes from her corner of her bedroom and begins to pack it up into his book bag. “I’m not allowing this..nobody deserves this. You’re staying with me from now on okay? There’s more than enough room for you..my parents aren’t even around. You’ll stay and you’ll be safe and he won’t ever hurt you again. Nobody will..got it?”

Rey nods and doesn’t even protest like she normally would, she feels so lost. Ben takes his sweater off and puts it on her. He leads her to his car and buckles her in and begins to drive back to his house. 

Nobody would hurt her again. 

When they arrive Rey is astounded by the gated house, it’s massive and looks like a celebrities house. He pulls up in the car and takes her inside as quickly as he can. 

“Y-you live here?”

“Yeah why?”

“I knew your family was wealthy but not like this.” Rey says as she shivers. 

“Why don’t you get in a shower..and clean up. I’ll grab you some towels and something of mine you can wear. Got it?”

She nods and lets Ben direct her towards one of the bathrooms. She goes in and is delighted to feel the hot water on her. The showers in her house was lukewarm most the times but it was amazing. The shower was massive and not dingy like hers. It felt great to wash everything off throughly. She’s smiling, she feels like she has hope for once that things will be better. When she gets out the shower she gets dressed in the sweatpants and sweater that Ben had brought her. She’s astounded when she realizes the floors had heating controls. She thought that was so unnecessary but so remarkable at the same time. She gets out the bathroom with her hair damp. She must have been in there a while because Ben has cooked dinner. She’s almost too excited about eating that it makes Ben frown. They sit on the couch together and begin to eat.

“How long have you been living in those conditions? Not just here I’m Chandrila but in general..” 

Rey is devouring her food and she wasn’t prepared to talk about anything. She would rather just ignore it. “A while. Most foster homes are the same.” She says and shrugs. The answer doesn’t satisfy Ben.

“Why not go to the police?”

Rey starts to laugh and Ben doesn’t know why. “Ha! That’s funny- oh shit you’re serious. The police don’t help..they make everything worse. The police only like rich white men. I’m white but I’m a women who lives in squalor. They don’t believe me or any other victims. Most sexual abuse or assault cases are just forgotten about...it would only cause more damage..”

Ben frowns and sets down his plate, losing his appetite when he notices how pale and thin Rey has become over the last few weeks. He’s damning himself for not doing something about this earlier, he didn’t know how he didn’t see it before. “I’m so sorry..”

Rey looks at Ben and smiles, leaning into his shoulder and looks up at him. “No need to be sorry..” She places a hand on his face and gently leans in and gives him a kiss on the lips. Ben kisses back and pulls away.

“Nobody will hurt you again..I promise..” he wraps his arms around her, he hears a voice in his head and closes his eyes. 

‘You’ll hurt her like you’ll hurt everyone else you love, Ben. I’ll come out and make sure’ it’s Kylo and he tried to ignore the voice and focuses on helping his girlfriend feel better. He strokes her hair and kisses her head. The next time he goes to kiss her head she’s asleep in his arms safe and sound.


	3. Not a happy ending ( high school part two )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Bens relationship goes south and we see what caused them to breakup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major trigger warning again// suicide attempts, drugs, cheating, emotional abuse, DID, BPD, just all the bad stuff. 
> 
> This story will get more light hearted but dark fics is what I’m best at

It had been a few weeks since Rey moved in. She’s not used to living in such good conditions. She’s been eating well and is shocked when she realizes she doesn’t have to work to get something to eat. She still collects bottles out of habit and people at school are assholes. Rey’s not paying attention to them, she’s in love with Ben Solo. She’s sitting on the bleachers and watching him at practice. She’s cheering him on and gives him a smile when he looks at her. When practice is over she walks over to him and wraps her arms around him.

“You did great..I could never do that kind of stuff. Football isn’t easy.”

“You brits and calling it football. It’s soccer!” He chuckles. 

Rey laughs and playfully nudges his arms. “Oh shut up, you Americans love to rename things and claim them as yours.”

“You’re right, I suppose I am guilty of that.” He hums as he wraps his arms around her waist and trails his hand down to her ass. 

“And why would you say that?” She asked and giggles.

“Because you’re mine.”

———————————————————————-

Months pass by and Rey and Ben are attached by the hip, then graduation is going by and Ben is going to a college it’s close enough by Chandrila that he’s living at home. The summer passes by too quickly and Rey hates the fact that she will have to face her senior year alone without Ben by her side. It causes her to be frantic, what if he leaves her like everyone else? What if he decides she’s not worth the trouble. She’d been hiding so much from him..and lately she’s noticed he hasn’t been acting like himself. His parents had came back home for a while and she noticed how strained their relationship was. He was muttering things and when Rey would try to help him or calm him he would lash out. She knew Ben had been through a lot and he didn’t talk about it. She knew he had anger issues but they weren’t that bad and he seemed to just internalize everything. 

Leia had been so kind to Rey, they knew she was living with them as Ben had told them months prior and she was shocked that someone who had such good parents could be so ungrateful for it. Ben was spoiled and it was a fact, he complained about things Rey never would have even thought about. Like how the floor heating system wasn’t working or that he didn’t get to go on a vacation for Christmas like usual and stayed home. 

Rey was dealing with trauma and a lot of it, somehow Ben had always made her feel better but ever since he started seeing his new therapist Dr. Snoke he was acting different. He was cold and unforgiving, closing her off and while she understood everyone needed time to themselves she didn’t understand what she had done wrong. He was on a new medication and Ben insisted it was working..she didn’t think so. 

Over the summer she found herself more emotional and went from loving him to hating him, crying and then super happy an hour later. Ben wasn’t able to handle it he found that everything always had to be about her and what she liked nothing was ever about him. 

Bens perspective was fucked, he didn’t feel like himself most the time and felt like he became a monster. College wasn’t great but it wasn’t awful, his mother wanted him to become a politician and he had no interest in that. He used to want to own a business that helped others, work in psychology but his major was undecided. He felt conflicted and he didn’t know why. Snoke said it was because he had depression and anger issues but one day he snuck through his files and found he was diagnosed with Dissociative identity disorder. He understood why he was hearing Kylo and maybe why his anger wasn’t controlled. He was the main source and Kylo was a fragmented piece of his mind, wanting to climb out. He couldn’t suppress him as well as he could, Ben was worried about Rey’s mental health while Kylo couldn’t have cared less. Kylo was dangerous and was the reason that he had so many violent outbursts as a child. What caused this? He wasn’t sure but he didn’t know if he could let Rey be around him anymore.

Rey spent her time mostly alone and when she was alone she would self harm, burning her finger tips or letting herself not eat for days. She just forgot. She was always happy to see Ben when he came home from classes, they could watch a movie. But unfortunately when Ben came home he was high..lately he’d been doing that..high or drunk. There was a woman next to him, they were making out on the couch and Rey gasped and started to cry. She walked up to the pair. “Ben...what the fuck are you doing?!” She yelled. 

Ben scoffs and looks up and his eyes are nearly black. What the hell was he even on? “I’m sick of your shit Rey..you’re always complaining about what you want and you’re stupid fucking bullshit. Get over it.” He said angrily. He stood up and looked at her as he grabbed her arms roughly. 

“Look at yourself..you’re fucking nothing! I mean you come from nothing. In fact why don’t you get the fuck out of here and move back to the projects where you belong! I don’t want you here anymore. You think I actually cared about you? Or loved you? I’m not Ben Solo anymore..” he says and throws some of her stuff at her. “Now get the hell out of my house.” He growls.

Rey is shaking and runs out quickly. It isn’t until after he sleeps with the random girl that he realizes he completely blacked out. He wakes up in the morning confused when he sees that it’s not Rey sleeping in his bed but some random chic from his class. He panics and puts on his clothes. His memory of the night before is faint but he’s searching frantically around town for her and she’s nowhere to be seen. She doesn’t have her phone, he kicked her out with nowhere to go and he’s ready to call the police when he remembers that Rey told him that they were no help. How could he fuck up this bad. He remembers one of his friends offering him some coke and drugs and while he’d been doing it for a while and hiding it from Rey he never thought he’d lose control like that. He lost the best thing to happen to him. 

Rey doesn’t understand what’s going on but there’s a bunch of nurses crowding her and her social worker is there with Unkar Plutt standing near her. She’s sobbing and screaming at them to let her go. She has a tube in her mouth and she feels like she’s dying, because she is. The white light of the hospital was blinding and she wanted nothing more than for Ben to come back to her. “Ben..I want Ben..” she whimpers. It’s all she says before she blacks out. 

When she wakes up she’s in a dim room and her body is aching. She’s got bandages around her wrists and she’s no longer being forced to use a breathing tube. She tried to overdose and slit her wrists open. She remembers now, she had been walking down the street sobbing when she realized she had some Tylenol in her bag that Ben had always made her carry around for when she had cramps. She always carried around a pocket knife so she assumes that’s what she had used to earn the bandages around her wrists. Ben had left her and broke her heart, cheating on her, on drugs and kicked her out with nowhere to go. She was going to be placed somewhere else in New York with some other foster family..for a few more months until she turned 18, then she’d be on her own. Life wasn’t worth it anymore, she wasn’t lovable, she thought. 

1 year goes by and she’s healed and has made friends with Rose, Armitage, Finn and Poe who are all older but are loving and caring. She decides that her new hyper fixation is some YouTube channel that helps her cope and that’s how she meets Kylo online. They become best friends and whilst living very close to each other, they’ve never met which is why Rey is determined to look her best at the wedding where she finally gets to meet him.


	4. The past comes back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General TW as this I’ve decided to make this a dark fic

It’s the day of the wedding and Rey is confident that she looks good, perhaps it’s her BPD and her slight delusion of grandeur that comes with it but she’s spent so long feeling like shit and tonight is the night she meets him. Maybe he won’t break her heart, she doesn’t want to get her hopes up but she’s so excited. The dress she’s borrowed from Kaydel is not her style but she’s so happy it fits her well. It’s a tan body con dress with long sleeves. The dress goes down right above her knees and has little ruffles at the bottom. She has a necklace that she’s been wearing since she was born it’s a yellow stoned crystal in the shape of a heart and it’s small and fits her better than when she was younger. Her hair is put down, it’s longer than it used to be..after she had attempted suicide she grew her hair out. She had loose waves in her hair and did her makeup lightly. Her choice of shoe was limited so she grabbed her black off brand Mary Janes she used for work. She had a coat luckily and began to make her way to the train station. The wedding was all the way out on Long Island and so she had to buy a train ticket to get there which sucked because her bank account had 17 dollars left in it and rent was due and more expensive due to Christmas coming up. 

When she arrived she’s searching around for red cufflinks with a first order symbol on it. It’s before the wedding and everyone is gathered in a large room. She see’s Finn and Poe there and she smiles happily and begins to walk over to them. “Hey guys.” She says happily, she’s so excited she’s afraid she might go manic on everyone.

“Woah there sunshine you’re looking all happy tonight! What’s got you all peppy?” Poe asks as he takes a sip of wine. 

“Well tonight I’m meeting Kylo..he’s a friend of Armitage..” she said softly as she sat down and started eating some of the bread that was at the table. “I don’t think he’s here yet he’s in some traffic but he works with him. Actually Kylo is his boss..”

“Oh I’ve heard about him..Rose says he’s a nice guy! I even met him once at their Christmas party last year. He’s one of the youngest superiors there apparently he had connections to the CEO’s at the first order.. and I think you’ll be happy to say that he’s not some creep..” Poe laughed. 

Rey is happy to know that Kylo isn’t some crazy person. She wonders if Kylo is his birth name or something because it’s an odd name.   
The ceremony is close to beginning and Rey sits in the third row next to Poe, Finn and watches as the bridesmaids go down the aisle. When the maid of honor, Paige Tico goes down the aisle she sees Ben Solo accompanying her down the aisle as the best man and she see’s the red cufflinks on his arms. 

Poe nudges Rey. “That’s Kylo the one with Paige..” 

Rey nearly faints, she can’t remember the last time she thought about Ben Solo, the man who broke her heart and yet this past year she’d been talking to him all along. By the end of the ceremony she’s crying and she’s playing it off as if she’s happily crying for Rose and Hux. She’s crying because she can’t believe she was so stupid. She grabbed her phone as Rose and Armitage made their way down the aisle. She decided to text Kylo.

‘Found you..I don’t think this is gonna work out. I’m so sorry. I have to leave..’ 

Ben feels his pocket vibrate and decides to check it when he’s out of the room. He furrows his brow when he see’s her message. He frowns, what had happened that she didn’t want to see him. He hadn’t done anything weird he was apart of the wedding and walked with Paige that’s all he had done so far. 

‘Sunray..are you okay? Did I do something wrong? I was looking forward to meeting you finally’ 

His message doesn’t go through, he’s been blocked. He’s angry and closes his eyes as he excuses himself to the restroom. When he gets inside he punches the wall angrily and his knuckles are bleeding. He looks in the mirror.   
He can hear voices in his head again and covers his ears. It’s Kylo again and while he’s become less of a bother he wishes he wasn’t so fucked up and could live a normal life. Why didn’t Sunray want him? What had he done? He continues on and leaves to the reception ball room and grabs a scotch on the rocks. He downs the whole thing and rubs his head. He see’s Poe Dameron walking up to him and he rolls his eyes...he’s not in the mood to deal with his shit. His mother’s company was his competitor and Poe was her second in command. 

“Kylo, buddy listen I had a friend here who was supposed to meet you tonight and she bugged the fuck out at the ceremony..Rey just started to leave and left without a word. I didn’t want to tell anyone considering it’s Roses wedding and shit but once she saw you she freaked out and left..” He said as he order a margarita for himself.

“Did you say Rey?” He asked as his eyes widen and when Poe nods Ben starts to run out and goes to chase after Rey, he knew she didn’t have a car. How could it be Rey? How small of a world had it been that the love of his life who he had hurt had been the woman he’d been talking to for ever a year? He didn’t understand how he didn’t realize it before? 

Rey is walking down the street and just by her luck it’s snowing and freezing and the dress she’s wearing isn’t very warm. She’s holding her emotions in, she’ll wait to cry once she’s on the LIRR back to the Bronx. She hears someone yelling her name and she turns around and see’s Ben. She shakes her head and starts to walk faster from him. 

“Rey please! Wait can we just talk?”

“What is there to talk about, Kylo? Why are you going by Kylo now? Did you fucking know it was me the entire time and just led me on so that you could embarrass me in front of my friends?”

Ben furrowed his brows, did she think he would hurt her like that? “What? No I didn’t even know it was you until Poe came up to tell me you were leaving and that your name was Rey. That’s when I pieced it together.” He says as he’s caught up to her. He grabs her arms. “Please can-can we talk about this? You don’t know the full story!”

“I know enough. I know that you came home high or drunk and that you were making out with some random girl from college. I know that when I came downstairs and confronted you that you began to yell at me and hurt me and then proceeded to tell me that you never cared, that I was selfish and that you never loved me in the first place. I know that you left bruises on my arms and threw my stuff at me and left me on the streets in the middle of winter..right before Christmas. In fact it’s almost been 5 years since then? I was 17 and alone and you were off in college having fun and left me alone...” She said angrily, her fists are clenched and she’s ready to kick him or tear him to pieces but she doesn’t. She continues walking away trying to remember that she can’t make a scene. 

Ben follows her and his heart breaks when he hears the truth about what happened, he barely remembered that night. All he remembered was waking up with a naked women in his bed and stuff shattered in his living room and Rey was gone. He never saw her again and while he tried hard looking for her he didn’t ever find her. He never told his parents about what happened, just that they broke up and she moved away to a foster home. “Rey..I didn’t tell you and I should have but I’m mentally ill and-and I took it out on you. It’s no right and it doesn’t excuse what I did. All I remember is waking up with a women next to me and you weren’t there and it was so scary and I just knew I had fucked up. I tried finding you but I couldn’t! He exclaims. “Where did you even go?!”

Rey scoffs and looks at him but then see’s that he truly didn’t remember what he had done. “I was in the hospital..”

“What? Why-why were you in the hospital?” 

She lifts her sleeves and shows him the deep scars along her wrists. “Tried to kill myself that same night. After that the police took me into questioning and kept telling me to take off my sweater to show them the bruises you gave me and I kept screaming and telling them I wouldn’t because you would never hurt me. I didn’t press charges because rich people get away with anything..” she said and crossed her arms. “Look I have to go the train is coming soon and I can’t miss it.”

Ben is at a loss of words, he’s dumbfounded and doesn’t know what to say. “Let me drive you home..please. It’s the least I can do.” 

Rey looks at him as he shows his car, it’s a Tesla of fucking course it is. She nods and walks to the car and see’s that the car has no handles unless the owner is near it. “That is legitimately the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen. Why would someone need to invent a car like this? Are people actually buying this? Is this what rich people spend their money on?” She scoffs as he unlocks the door and gets in. Ben laughs because she’s not wrong and she hasn’t changed a bit since high school. She had been seventeen when he last saw her and now she was 22 and he was 23. He noticed how her hair was longer and fuller but she was still malnourished. He’s wondering if she’s at least living in a decent apartment or house. 

The ride lasts longer than expected, there’s traffic and Rey is quiet, not speaking to him. “Why would you miss out on your best friends wedding? You realize you literally just fucking left right?”

“I had to make things right with you..” He said quietly. “Or at least try to. I know..what I did fucked you up and there’s no reason or excuse for it but let me know if there’s anything I can do for you..”

“Because that worked so well last time you tried to help..” she scoffs and crosses her arms. “I spent so much time trying to think about what I do wrong because I was so in love..so devoted and when I was with you it felt safe. Then one week you just were being cold and mean and I let it slide because we all have bad weeks and then you fucking broke my heart. If I had known the end would come so quickly I wouldn’t have accepted your offer to live with you. You were my best friend, my only friend and you left me with nothing. I spent years wondering what I did wrong and I didn’t do anything you were just...sick..” She muttered and looked out the window. 

“I’m sorry..”

“You should be..”

There is no other conversation, that is until they show up to Rey’s apartment building. It’s dirty and broken down and almost looks abandoned. “Rey..please tell me this place has heating and electric..don’t tell me you’re not living in some abandoned apartment building...” He says sadly.

Rey looks down. “It’s not abandoned. It’s not your business anyways..” she goes to open the door and it’s locked. 

“Not letting you leave until you prove to me it’s heated and has electricity. You were always texting Kylo- I mean me that you never had groceries..c-can you not afford it? Rey I’ll get you the things you need it’s not fair you’re living like this—“

Rey interrupts him. “Kylo just..stop. No I don’t have heating, I don’t have electricity and my mattress is on a fucking floor that’s rotting. It’s all I have and I have work tomorrow so please...just let me go to my apartment..”

“You planned on working the day after a wedding?”

“Some of us don’t have the luxury to take a day off. My rent is due...it’s close to Christmas which means the rent is higher than usual..”

Ben looks down and sighs and puts his head on the wheel and rubs his bruised and bloodied hand from earlier. “I fucked up. I fucked up so bad with you, Rey. I’m so sorry.” He’s crying and he doesn’t want her to see. “You wouldn’t be in this situation if I had just been fucking normal! If I had continued down the path I originally set for us. I wanted to marry you!” He laughed. “I was looking at rings and shit and I was fantasizing about our future and our kids and I fucked it up..”

“You thought about all that while we were dating? I mean Jesus Christ, Ben we were teenagers.” She laughs and it makes him feel better to know she’s laughing at him crying. “I mean the sentiment is sweet but I didn’t think you had loved me like that!” She’s chuckling and soon he is too. 

“Well yeah! I was in it for the long run with you. I wanted to spend my life with you!” He laughs, he still does, he thinks. “I mean truthfully I shouldn’t have continued going to Dr. Snoke. He’s not my therapist anymore but he’s more my boss and mentor. Snoke would give me the opposite of good advice like he’d tell me to stop focusing on you and I thought that was a shit idea I mean you were the only thing I had going. When you were gone I lost myself for a few years. My parents sent me to be with my uncle and whenever Kylo came out I can tell he thought I was a freak and a monster. I did some drugs after you were gone, I was doing stupid shit and I just kept thinking of you..then a year ago I got into that artist who depicts mental illness in their work and I found you.. your username ‘RayofSunshine’ and when we started talking about the artist and how it was kind of our hyper fixation and then I came up with your nickname ‘Sunray’ because you just made my day better. Knowing that..it’s you the love of my life I feel like an idiot not realizing it before!” He’s laughing and unbuckling his seatbelt to get more comfortable in his car. It feels like high school again the way he’s talking to her. 

Rey doesn’t know why or how but for some reason she feels like she’s beginning to forgive Ben. She thinks maybe she’d been too impulsive on judging him but to be fair she’d been through a lot. “Wait so why do you go by Kylo? Not just online but publicly?”

“Cause not only did I name my other personality Kylo but it’s easier to get away from the press because nobody thinks Kylo Ren as Ben Solo son of Leia Organa democratic state senator. It makes me feel a bit more whole as a person and it’s less confusing. You can still call me Ben though! It’s not like I don’t exist it’s complicated ya know?”

“Tell me about it! I literally fucking go through seven mood swings a day and I’m always having some kind of existential crisis!” She laughs. She notices that people in the neighborhood are staring at her in the car and she sighs. “Ben..I’ve really got to go..it’s getting late and I work tomorrow..”

“Where do you work?”

“It’s Maz flower shop. She used to be the owner she passed away and it’s under a new ownership. I would love to own it one day.” She laughed. “As if that would ever happen the owner now is a dick. He’s on vacation right now...I wouldn’t be opposed to you stopping by..” she said and smiled. “Since you apparently have the day off. You rich people and your days off!”

Ben is glad that Rey isn’t going to shut him out, he’ll make it up to her. He smiled when he heard that she works in a flower shop, he remembered how much she loved flowers and asserting them. 

“I’ll stop by..maybe buy a bouquet or two and send them to Rose and Hux for leaving their wedding.” He unlocks the door. “Let me walk you up? This is a shady area and I don’t need you getting hurt.” 

“Fine...” She says and steps out the car. 

Ben is shocked to find that the apartment has no elevator and she lives on the sixth floor. By the time they reach her apartment he’s even more disappointed by the state of the apartment. He walks around, it’s freezing and none of the lights work. “You can’t stay here, Rey. It’s not sanitary and you’re gonna freeze out..”  
He checks her kitchen and there’s no food in the cabinets and there’s not even a fridge. The water is running but it’s slow and not a lot comes out. “Sweetheart, you can’t live like this..” Kylo says and walks over to her. “Let’s go back to my place you can forget about this place..”


	5. The Truth about Kylo Ren and Ben Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark truth about Bens motivations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// this is a super dark fic I’ve put as much as I can think of in the tags for warnings
> 
> Anyways enjoy, this is kinda short I’m not having much motivation

Kylo is vengeful, unforgiving and quite frankly he’s a bit of an asshole. He remembers fighting Rey and kicking her out. He doesn’t necessarily regret it but he feels like an asshole for letting her be homeless. The least he can do is protect her and make her never leave him or Ben again and honestly Bens love and creepy obsession with Rey had been going on for a while. Ben had remembered when he first laid eyes on Rey. It was his Junior year and she was a sophomore. He had snuck into the main office and found her file on the computer in fact it wasn’t that hard. He knew where she lived that she had no biological parents present and she had a few drug issues, they would make her better and make her less lonely. Which is why Ben was so distraught when Kylo had been acting like a dick to her right before he hurt her and kicked her out. But now she could belong to them and she would be happy and maybe even happier when she finds out what he did to Unkar Plutt all those years ago.   
——————————————————————-

He’s pacing back and forth in his room, it’s been three weeks since Rey’s been gone and he’s not sure if he can handle her not being with him for much longer. 

‘I need her. They took her away from me. He has her again..’ He says to himself. 

“You know what you have to do..” Kylo says. “You have the strength to do it and you know what it takes..”

‘You sound like Snoke right now..not like Kylo..please stop..’ 

Kylo walks downstairs all the way to the basement, they have a cellar in there that Ben has been using for..personal reasons.

It was a red room and it was filled with pictures of Rey. Whether it had been her walking home, hanging with friends or getting dressed in her own house he had pictures of her. He even had a few pairs of her underwear he had stolen and kept. He’s loved her since the beginning and he doesn’t know where to start to search for her. He fucked up big time and now he needs her back. He wonders if maybe she’s back living with Plutt. He hopes not..he needs to pay him a visit and see if she’s there because then he can explain everything and tell her how much he loves her. 

He’s wearing a dark outfit and a mask, it’s black and has a sliver lining. If they have security cameras which he doubts due to how poverty stricken Plutt is he won’t be identified.

Ben has to protect Rey so he climbs into what used to be her room and finds that it’s empty. So she’s not with Plutt, it worries him because now she could be dead from hypothermia or have been killed. None of this would have happened if he hadn’t fucked up. He curses himself for what he’s done. “Such a fucking idiot..” He begins to hit his head hard. 

“Who’s in here?!” He hears a low and growls voice and it’s none other than Plutt. 

“Where the fuck is she? Where’s Rey..” He’s taking his mask off because he wants Plutt to see the eyes of a monster before he dies. 

“Rey was sent off to another family..in New York. Somewhere upstate in the Catskills.. you’re that boyfriend of hers...I ain’t got her here, buddy.” He huffs. “Now if you could leave before I kick your ass that would be nice.”

Ben laughs and he has a knife, passed down from his grandfather and his uncle and now to him. He walks over and puts the knife to Plutts fat neck. “You hurt her..you fucking ruined her and now she’s gone! If you hadn’t fucked her up then I wouldn’t be in this position right now!!” He yelled angrily and slit his neck. Unkar collapses to the floor and Ben smirks to himself. He’s protecting Rey, it’s one less asshole in the world. 

Nobody suspects anything about Unkar Plutt death. He was a nobody junkie with a bad reputation and no family.

Bens search for Rey goes as well as it can. He knows she’s safe in Upstate New York and while he doesn’t know what happened to her the past three weeks he’s just happy to know she’s at least not with Unkar. 

Her phone..she left her phone and while she had a lock on it Ben was savvy enough to open it, he needs to find her again and make sure nobody ever goes near her. She’s his..and nobody would take their love away from each other. Her phone is filled with pictures of them and her friends. He prints them out but cuts out her friends in the pictures and hangs them up. Next he goes on her Twitter, well she’s into interesting stuff..BDSM? Apparently she had wild fantasies and dark secrets too..why hadnt he known? Was she embarrassed...he would never make her embarrassed especially when he shared the same interests. Maybe that would be a way to connect with her. If she had a new phone she’d still be using the same account, so he could set up an account, follow her and then start up a conversation. It was perfect..he could probably find her IP address and figure out where she is. It’s the perfect plan.  
——————————————————————

Ben didn’t expect for Rey and Kylo to get along so quickly, Kylo was an alias for his BDSM account and soon enough he would have his whole plan set out. He was thinking about taking a job up in the city since Rey was moving there on her 18th birthday. Ben no longer went to college as he found it was a waste of time and his only priority was Rey. 

Years, he spent years accumulating the perfect plan to win her back and keep her for himself. She didn’t have anyone close enough that would truly miss her and all she would have was him. They’d be happy and she would be loved like she deserved to be. The wedding just happened to be a perfect way for him to get to her and reveal himself to her. While she freaked out at first they were now in her tiny dank apartment and he had everything he needed to take her.

Rey heard him say to go to his place and forget about her apartment. “Ben I can’t..I have obligations..I have work tomorrow and you probably live on the other side of the city!” She exclaimed. “I’ve always lived like this..I’m used to it..” she says and walks over to him. He’s not giving up and he takes her hands and she feels him warm up against her. 

“Please, Rey. Give me another chance.”  
He’s going to get another chance whether or not she wants it. It’s up to her if she wants to be punished, he hopes she picks a good choice.

“Is that what you want? Another chance?” 

“Please, Rey. My darling I promise you I will make sure you’re loved and taken care of..” He gets down on his knees and wraps his arms around her. 

Like a fool she accepts his request. “Of course we can have another chance..” she speaks softly and runs her hands through his hair. She’s smiling, maybe she will be loved again, someone will care and be there for her. He wants another chance, surely that means he doesn’t want to hurt her again. 

“Pack your things..I can take you to my place now and you-you can come and live with me..I have a personal driver and he can bring you to work...you also don’t technically need to work..” he says and raises his brows. “But I can tell you like it there..” He stands up right, he needs to chill. He knows what to do to get her on her good side, what to do to give her the trust and ‘normalcy’ she wants. She’ll be theirs to keep, to marry, to have plentiful children with and he can’t wait. Sure, he’s only 23 and Rey is 22 but soon she’ll have nothing but him. She’ll have no choice and that’s what they’re most excited for.


End file.
